"Think about a single mother who goes to church, in the parish and to the secretary she says: ‘I want my child baptized’. And then this Christian, this Christian says: ‘No, you cannot because you’re not married!’. But look, this girl who had the courage to carry her pregnancy and not to return her son to the sender, what is it? A closed door! This is not zeal! It is far from the Lord! It does not open doors! And so when we are on this street, have this attitude, we do not do good to people, the people, the People of God, but Jesus instituted the seven sacraments with this attitude and we are establishing the eighth: the sacrament of pastoral customs!"
— Pope Francis
I dislike it when being a gentleman is defined or identified with wearing a suit, dressing up or getting a sick haircut. Those are things I definitely approve of, and I think they are ordered in beauty and dignity, that they definitely mesh with what it means for a man to be noble; however, being a gentleman is much broader and virtuosic than appearances. You can’t talk about “being a gentleman” or even mention the concept without digging deeper than being dapper.
Good manners and respectability are also at the tip of the iceberg. Being a gentleman means tapping into what is properly the male genius: being a rock of social justice; in our power and (some might say unfortunate) privilege actually fighting against all forms of oppression; willing to lay down our careers, our pride, our vanity, our idols, our lives for the good of our families and communities; given to the intensely human task of self-giving through being good stewards of the earth and the poor; and helping our fellow woman and man realize their potential, and safeguard their dignity.
Without these things our striving for “culture” becomes vapid - a metaphor for nothing - anything but spiritual. We become, to re-appropriate C.S. Lewis’ metaphor, “men without chests”. Art is the signature of man (GKC), but virtue must undergird everything we think and do (Aquinas).
